Fire gods are some of my favorite myths. They're so...fiery. Ha. Really, though, they're a highly interesting bunch. I'd some day like to write a thesis on them and their similarities, because they're all somewhat mercurial, quirky, and, to a degree, smarter than many other gods.
My current list of fire gods includes Loki, Prometheus, Yahweh, and Lucifer. I'm sure there's more, I just haven't gotten a chance to delve into many mythologies (my areas of study are Greek, Norse, and Christian/Biblical myths). If you have any I should read up on, do send them to me! I think I want to assemble a team of them. A League of Fire Gods, if you will. Today is the commencement of this team. If these fire gods make the cut, they can be inducted. If not, well, then sucks for them. They're not real, so they kind of can't be getting all offended.
Before we get started, I'd like to discuss the criteria for fire god. A fire god is a divine or semi-divine being who was at one point worshiped, and either has domain over fire or is consistently associated with imagery of fire. Thus, Lucy and Yahweh qualify, because they were both worshiped and because Lucy's all hellish and Yahweh's all pillar of fire, rain fire and destruction, etc etc.
The criteria for this league is if they could all be friends together. So, today, let's look at the contestants and determine if they could all get along well enough not to incinerate each other!
First off: Loki. Loki is a Norse trickster god, and he's commonly associated with fire imagery (as well as that of Chaos). He was distrusted by the others in the Norse pantheon, though Odin tolerated and sometimes used him. Loki was imprisoned by Skadi with Jormundr, a very large snake, as a guard. He qualifies as a fire god because of the imagery, and because of his changing, dangerous nature.
Prometheus is a Greek god, one of the Titans. He did not fight against the Olympians when Cronos fell, which is why he was not immediately imprisoned. However, seeing as he stole fire from the gods to give to the cold, shivering humans (which subsequently gave rise to human civilization), this was quickly corrected by Zeus, who chained him to a cliff where an eagle would peck out his liver each day.
I'm pretty dang sure Loki and Prometheus would be friends. Though Loki represents more the destructive, quick side of fire, and Prometheus the nurturing, light-and-heat giving side of fire, they have a lot in common. Primarily, they were both imprisoned and tortured for very little reason. I can imagine them sitting down next to each other at a bar, ordering Scotch or a mug or something, getting drunk and then proceeding to spill their hearts out to each other. Maybe they'd end sobbing in each other's arms about how much their lives suck. Anyway, I totally think they'd team up, and maybe even swear revenge on the jerkfaces that consigned them to purportedly eternal torture.
Lucifer also has a lot in common with them. If we're going by the Paradise Lost interpretation, then he's almost in exactly the same situation. Lucy's beat up by the Big Guy and kicked out of heaven into hell, the magical land of fire and torture forever. Also, like Prometheus, he brings enlightenment to humans in the form of telling Eve about the wonders of fruit and knowledge and not being naked all the time. I feel as though he would be right there with Loki and Prometheus, glaring drunkenly into his empty shot glass and slurring about the crap he's been through, and how he just wanted some damn respect for once...
Loki, Prometheus, Lucy - congratulations on your induction into the League!
Now, Yahweh, he's a tricky one. See, he qualifies as a fire god. He's the God of the Old Testament, and pretty consistently rains fire and destruction on basically everyone. He shows up as a pillar of flame several times, rains fire on Sodom and Gomorrah, lights Elijah's wood on fire, and requires burnt sacrifices on a regular basis. He's also very volatile, constantly promising this or forbidding that, and then changing his mind a few chapters later (which can be construed as a common trait of many fire gods). However, despite his eligibility, Yahweh doesn't really play nice with others. He's known for murdering lots of Egyptians, telling Abraham to murder his son, letting his people wander in the desert for 40 stinkin' years, telling the people who worship him to massacre Canaanites (men, women, and children), obliterating two cities, turning a woman into salt when she didn't obey his orders, and a whole crap ton more. Yahweh is, to be frank, a bit of a psychopath
Now, I'm not saying that any of the others aren't pretty dickish. Loki is consistently a total jackass. Prometheus, well, okay, he's all right. Lucy...okay, he doesn't actually do anything either. Anyway, the problem is less that Yahweh's kind of nasty and more that he gets his way by brute force, orders, and threatening to incinerate people. Where Loki would be playing word games, or Prometheus would be stealing fire from Zeus, or Lucy would be extolling the wonders of apples, Yahweh would be out drowning Egyptians. If Lucy was all like, hey, I'm sorry, take me back (which he wouldn't, because Lucy's the prideful type), Yahweh'd be all like, I thought I sent you to hell. And then he'd like punch him in the face or something, or better, have his flock of angels punch Lucy in the face. And I'm pretty sure Yahweh would just flat out admit the existence of Loki or Prometheus. He'd be all like, you're not in my pantheon, you don't exist, I'm the true god. And since we're in magical fantasy land where all of this is real, he'd be wrong and Loki and Prometheus would be pissed off.
So, sorry, Yahweh! You just don't make the cut. Maybe you should have focused on improving the human's quality of life, instead of sending them on idle tasks like carving words into rocks or murdering children.
*cough cough* Sorry, I just can't have you in my little band of misfit myths. You'll probably cause a fight.
Hey, did you read to the end of this really long, rambling post? GOOD JOB! Thank you! Here's a special treat:
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