Time Limits

I don't like time limits. They're an unfortunate presence in otherwise fun and enjoyable games. I'd much prefer to play the game and stop at my own rate, when I'm ready, and not when an arbitrary buzzer tells me to. With a time limit, you're always rushing about, trying to get everything accomplished.There's no time to smell the roses, look around, go on mini quests. Time even seems to speed up towards the end, so the last seconds fly by as you try to accomplish everything you wanted to in that little span.

This is why I'm not happy about another year ending. It's another step towards an inexorably approaching time limit. I did pretty well at accomplishing things, granted. I got a lot of important things done. I learned to crochet and knit, I defeated Twilight Princess, I wrote some good stuff, I explored a culvert, I got into Cornell, I played the bongos in English class, I figured stuff out about people and why they're so weird, I learned a ton about philosophy, science, debate, and much else, and I got a lot better at sucking every moment dry of happiness and goodness. I like to think that I made the world a little bit of a better place.

But... think of what I could have done if I'd had a little more time...

Coexistence

Humans are itsy-bitsy, inconsequential specs of organic matter on an infinitesimal rock, drifting through space. In the cosmic sense, we're nothing. We don't matter.

But if you think that because of this lack of transcendent purpose, we should give in to despair, or take as we please, or exploit and burn and raze, think of it this way. We're itsy-bitsy, inconsequential specs of organic matter, and we're all alone. We're all alone on this drifting rock, and we may never leave. We may never see anyone else. For all intents and purpose, we're all we've got. We've got this planet, and we've got each other, and we don't have very much else. Unless you want to give away the only thing you have, you may as well get along with everyone else.

A word to the wise - when you only have a few friends, you don't trade them for the world.

Santa Claus: the Movie

Back in the heyday of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (okay, not really, it's Mike, not Steve. Whatever), they did a movie called Santa Claus. We watched it tonight.

Excuse me, I'm a little emotionally scarred. Give me a moment.

This was Santa Claus. He is the creepiest Santa Claus I have ever seen. Santa Claus is creepy enough to begin with, if you think about him seriously. ("He sees you when you're sleeping"?) But this movie just took the mythos to a whole new level. Even the humorous commentary wasn't enough to save me from the horror of this film. IT WAS TERRIFYING.
I don't know where to start. The premise is that Santa Claus is real. Obviously. He lives on a floating island above the North Pole. In a magic castle. Okay, so far so good.
With a bunch of ethnic children that he uses as slaves toy makers, who wear traditional ethnic clothing, despite the fact that this movie was made in the 60's/70's. They also sing traditional songs in an epic cacophony that continues for a good ten minutes.
Even the non-Christian countries are represented at Santa's workshop, which is kind of weird at first but you later figure out that this whole movie is a crapload of Christian propaganda. And evidently ethnic American clothing is cowboy. And the Scandinavians were not mentioned at all, which is weird because they mentioned Indians (you know, the kind from India) who almost definitely do not celebrate Christmas because they are primarily Hindi. Moving on.
Also in Santa's lair are other devices for spying on children, taking the whole "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" song to a whole new level of creepy. I mean, it was creepy already. "He sees you when you're sleeping"? What, is he Big Brother or something? In this version...well, the answer is yes. He is Big Brother. Santa watches over spies on his slave-children with his magical organ (instrument, not tissue conglomerate) with a television screen. He also spies on normal children with some of freakiest machines possible. He has a large white machine with a face and a gaping, wet mouth that moves when it talks. Santa has an oscillating fan with an ear attached, to hear the children talk. SANTA HAS A TELESCOPING ROD WITH A LITTLE EYE ON IT.

It's like something from a horror film. If I saw this as a child, I wouldn't sleep for months. And months and months and months until I died of lack of sleep (a real condition, I believe). It is terrifying. And, of course, while Santa is busy spying on little children, the other little brainwashed children run around and help him in his totalitarian agenda.
OF COURSE. GET THEM WHILE THEY'RE YOUNG.
Anyway, onto the plot (pathetic and shriveled though it may be). On Earth, an interpretive dancing Satan (not to be confused with Santa) is hopping around and tempting children to evil in a thinly not veiled bit of Christian propaganda. (Hmm! I wonder if Santa is a metaphor for God!) Satan, he of the oily-complexion and very fake ears,

dances around various children (only from America and Mexico, for some reason) making surprisingly convincing arguments for stealing and attacking Santa, while still managing to be a total spaz and/or crack addict. (Mostly the latter).
Then, on Christmas, Santa descends to Earth with the help of his TERRIFYING ROBOT REINDEER THAT LOOK LIKE THEY WILL MURDER ME IN MY BED AND THEN GNAW ON MY EXTREMITIES AND/OR BRAIN.

I was honestly terrified when they showed up. I haven't had to cover my eyes during a movie since I was like eight, and this thing scared the crap out of me. CAN'T YOU SEE ITS SOULLESS EYES?!?!?! I am going to keep my eyes open all night.
Santa and Satan then enter into a bizarre series of fights in which they both act like total retards. For example: Satan (red guy) thinks it will be funny/detrimental to move a chimney so as to confuse Santa (jolly guy) and prevent him from entering the house. This is a stupid plan for obvious reasons, the most blatant of which is that the hole where the chimney was would still be in the roof. Lame, right?
Of course, Santa falls for it. And then escapes with the help of a very small umbrella.
WHAT.
In another scene, Santa (jolly guy) shoots Satan (red guy) in the ass with a toy ballistae.
WHAT.
We ended the movie where Santa gives the dumbass/awesome boys who tried to kidnap him lumps of coal, and Satan tricks all of the boys into beating the schnitzel out of each other in a really obvious Hell metaphor. Unable to take anymore of the abject, bone-chilling, sinking-pit-in-stomach-feeling horror, we ascended to bed, muttering incoherently and glancing behind us every few seconds. I don't know if we'll ever finish the movie. I'm not sure I want to. I think one evening of racism/political incorrectness/Christian propaganda/utter, terrifying creepiness was probably enough for a looooong time.
If I wake up screaming later, well, you know why.

Damn reindeer.
*shudder*

Facebook status responses I'm too cowardly to post

Agh, sometimes it's a shame I'm a nice person and don't want to look like a jerk.

"this bus ride is gay"

You mean it likes other bus rides of the same gender? That's strange, I wasn't even aware that bus rides had genders. Huh. Well, I'm glad it's out of the closet.

Because I know these people

Who's ready for another round of cowardly Facebook status bashing?!


"Its rediculous how immature people are these days..."


No, you know what's ridiculous? The fact that you can't spell ridiculous and you're a senior in high school. Do you pay attention to anything? Ever?


"hahaha some guys need to control their psycho jealous girlfriends."


It is highly irritating when people talk about controlling others in a relationship, especially women. a) It's not the guy's fault the girlfriend is being psychotic.Why is the blame being shifted to him? b) Controlling is not the way to go. Thoughtful, reasonable discussion, perhaps. Control implies force, and forcing people to do things is not awesome in what is supposed to be a relationship of mutual respect and equal authority. 


Also - vague, angsty statuses. Look, if you have something to share, spit it out. No one wants to guess if you're suicidal or just spilled your Red Bull on your favorite sweater. Really, friend. Really. 


Well, my work is done. Proceed.

Milton

I'm busily working my way through I recently finished Paradise Lost by John Milton. I wasn't sure I'd enjoy it, but I am learning to absolutely love it. I can see why Pullman and Gaiman were so fond of quoting it/building entire trilogies off of it.

Milton's fabulous in all sorts of unintentional ways. For instance, he provides plenty of fodder for a 21st century freethinker to pick apart with ease - things like the pride motif, for instance, or the multiple instances where God or angels say something to the extent of "knowledge is bad". Another reason I enjoy it is that I am immature, and found a fart joke. 

I've started a list of favorite lines. It's growing pretty weighty, because there's so many beautiful bits and pieces that can be construed to fit a heretical view point. For instance, the eternal line "better to reign in hell than serve in heav'n". Beautiful, right? Who wouldn't rather have their own place, even if it is a falling-down, brimstone-reeking dump, than have to live in uber happy land under the Big Brother-like eyes of angels? No brainer, right? (Er, well...I guess maybe not. Since I am in America, and all)

Here are some others I liked:

"'O fair plant,' said he, 'with fruit surcharged, Deigns none to ease thy load and taste thy sweet, Nor god, nor man; is knowledge so despised?..."

"Tell him withal...what enemy late fall'n himself from heav'n, is plotting now The fall of others from like state of bliss;..." 

(Ignorance is bliss. Just seemed fitting)

"He [God] left it in thy power, ordained they will By nature free, not overruled by fate Inextricable..." (Raphael speaks of humans here. I just had to note that, if humans have free will as some kind of special quality, then it implies that angels don't. If angels don't have free will, then they're subject to fate, and thus Lucifer was fated to rebel and fall. Thus - how is it his fault, and why is he then consigned to hell? ...The only explanation I can think of is "God is a jerk", which I find clears up a lot of religious hypocrisy/convolution.)

"who saw When this creation was? Remember'st thou Thy making, while the Maker gave thee being? We know no time when we were not  as now; know none before us, self-begot, self-raised By our own quick'ning power,"  

(In other words - who says God made anything? God! Funny how that works out. *fingerguns* Gotcha there! Maybe god was just the first angel, as Pullman said.)

(And here we've gotten into the Serpent talking -- I like that kid. He seems to know what's up.)

"What forbids he but to know, Forbids us good, forbids us to be wise?"

"'And wherein lies Th'offense, that man should thus attain to know? What can your knowledge hurt him, or this tree Impart against his will if all be his?" 

(I don't see how anyone could argue for the validity of Genesis and support education. This must be why people so rarely do.)

"Knowledge of good and evil; Of good, how just? Of evil, if what is evil Be real, why not known, since easier shunned?"

"Why then thus forbid? Why but to awe, Why but to keep ye low and ignorant, His worshippers."

"ye shall be as gods, knowing both good and evil as they know..."

(This is one of the few instances where I disagree with Snakey. Actually, gods don't seem to be all that clear on the subject of good and evil. I mean, think. Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot's wife. Prometheus' punishment. Zeus' many infidelities. Loki (enough said). Set. Massacring Canaanittes. Arachne. Would you like me to go on?)

"hath God then said that of the fruit Of all these garden trees ye shall not eat, Yet lords declared of all in earth or air?" 

(Ooh, gotcha there! *fingerguns*)

"spirited sly snake"

(I have some kind of weird love for alliteration.)

---

I'll have to tell you the fart joke and the most hilarious dialogue between Adam and Raphael later, because it is late and I must go into my nightly coma. Maybe I'll even have vivid hallucinations followed by near total amnesia about the experience! :D

Friendship!

It occurs to me that I never got around to writing a post about fire gods! This is a major oversight, the topic being in my blog's subtitle and all. Man, what was I thinking?
Fire gods are some of my favorite myths. They're so...fiery. Ha. Really, though, they're a highly interesting bunch. I'd some day like to write a thesis on them and their similarities, because they're all somewhat mercurial, quirky, and, to a degree, smarter than many other gods.
My current list of fire gods includes Loki, Prometheus, Yahweh, and Lucifer. I'm sure there's more, I just haven't gotten a chance to delve into many mythologies (my areas of study are Greek, Norse, and Christian/Biblical myths). If you have any I should read up on, do send them to me! I think I want to assemble a team of them. A League of Fire Gods, if you will. Today is the commencement of this team. If these fire gods make the cut, they can be inducted. If not, well, then sucks for them. They're not real, so they kind of can't be getting all offended.
Before we get started, I'd like to discuss the criteria for fire god. A fire god is a divine or semi-divine being who was at one point worshiped, and either has domain over fire or is consistently associated with imagery of fire. Thus, Lucy and Yahweh qualify, because they were both worshiped and because Lucy's all hellish and Yahweh's all pillar of fire, rain fire and destruction, etc etc.
The criteria for this league is if they could all be friends together. So, today, let's look at the contestants and determine if they could all get along well enough not to incinerate each other!

First off: Loki. Loki is a Norse trickster god, and he's commonly associated with fire imagery (as well as that of Chaos). He was distrusted by the others in the Norse pantheon, though Odin tolerated and sometimes used him. Loki was imprisoned by Skadi with Jormundr, a very large snake, as a guard. He qualifies as a fire god because of the imagery, and because of his changing, dangerous nature.
Prometheus is a Greek god, one of the Titans. He did not fight against the Olympians when Cronos fell, which is why he was not immediately imprisoned. However, seeing as he stole fire from the gods to give to the cold, shivering humans (which subsequently gave rise to human civilization), this was quickly corrected by Zeus, who chained him to a cliff where an eagle would peck out his liver each day.
I'm pretty dang sure Loki and Prometheus would be friends. Though Loki represents more the destructive, quick side of fire, and Prometheus the nurturing, light-and-heat giving side of fire, they have a lot in common. Primarily,  they were both imprisoned and tortured for very little reason. I can imagine them sitting down next to each other at a bar, ordering Scotch or a mug or something, getting drunk and then proceeding to spill their hearts out to each other. Maybe they'd end sobbing in each other's arms about how much their lives suck. Anyway, I totally think they'd team up, and maybe even swear revenge on the jerkfaces that consigned them to purportedly eternal torture.
Lucifer also has a lot in common with them. If we're going by the Paradise Lost interpretation, then he's almost in exactly the same situation. Lucy's beat up by the Big Guy and kicked out of heaven into hell, the magical land of fire and torture forever. Also, like Prometheus, he brings enlightenment to humans in the form of telling Eve about the wonders of fruit and knowledge and not being naked all the time. I feel as though he would be right there with Loki and Prometheus, glaring drunkenly into his empty shot glass and slurring about the crap he's been through, and how he just wanted some damn respect for once...

Loki, Prometheus, Lucy - congratulations on your induction into the League!
Now, Yahweh, he's a tricky one. See, he qualifies as a fire god. He's the God of the Old Testament, and pretty consistently rains fire and destruction on basically everyone. He shows up as a pillar of flame several times, rains fire on Sodom and Gomorrah, lights Elijah's wood on fire, and requires burnt sacrifices on a regular basis. He's also very volatile, constantly promising this or forbidding that, and then changing his mind a few chapters later (which can be construed as a common trait of many fire gods). However, despite his eligibility, Yahweh doesn't really play nice with others. He's known for murdering lots of Egyptians, telling Abraham to murder his son, letting his people wander in the desert for 40 stinkin' years, telling the people who worship him to massacre Canaanites (men, women, and children), obliterating two cities, turning a woman into salt when she didn't obey his orders, and a whole crap ton more. Yahweh is, to be frank, a bit of a psychopath

Now, I'm not saying that any of the others aren't pretty dickish. Loki is consistently a total jackass. Prometheus, well, okay, he's all right. Lucy...okay, he doesn't actually do anything either. Anyway, the problem is less that Yahweh's kind of nasty and more that he gets his way by brute force, orders, and threatening to incinerate people. Where Loki would be playing word games, or Prometheus would be stealing fire from Zeus, or Lucy would be extolling the wonders of apples, Yahweh would be out drowning Egyptians. If Lucy was all like, hey, I'm sorry, take me back (which he wouldn't, because Lucy's the prideful type), Yahweh'd be all like, I thought I sent you to hell. And then he'd like punch him in the face or something, or better, have his flock of angels punch Lucy in the face. And I'm pretty sure Yahweh would just flat out admit the existence of Loki or Prometheus. He'd be all like, you're not in my pantheon, you don't exist, I'm the true god. And since we're in magical fantasy land where all of this is real, he'd be wrong and Loki and Prometheus would be pissed off.

So, sorry, Yahweh! You just don't make the cut. Maybe you should have focused on improving the human's quality of life, instead of sending them on idle tasks like carving words into rocks or murdering children.
*cough cough* Sorry, I just can't have you in my little band of misfit myths. You'll probably cause a fight.





Hey, did you read to the end of this really long, rambling post? GOOD JOB! Thank you! Here's a special treat:

Evolution of a Tailcoat

I believe I mentioned my quest to create a tailcoat for Halloween. Halloween has been passed for some time now, which I forgot to mention. At any rate, I was fully successful in my creation of a tailcoat! In all honesty, I think it might be the pinnacle of my seamstress career up 'til this point. Everything turned out so well.
Here is the dress I started with:

King of an ugly thing. It was supposed to be for a 70's diva, though, so I assume that hideous is a prerequisite.

Here it is after I cut out the tails and the front. You can almost see its shape coming together.

Now I have the sleeves on. The sleeves turned out really well, especially after I was worried they'd be too short or not fit right. I got the angle correct to sew them to the shoulders, and evidently my measurements were correct when I laid the fabric against my arm. (I have sort of an ad hoc method of measurement and sizing. I've gotten better at it as I've been more constructive, but my first creation, Frankencat, was....well, his name speaks for itself).

And, look! I have the lapels on! Isn't it looking snazzy? It also helps that I figured out that I should probably turn the flash on at this point. Ah, the marvels of photography... *headdesk*

And, look, here it is from the back, almost all finished! Do you see those little buttons on the top of the tails? I'm very proud of those as they look pretty snazzy.

*smirks* I'm quite proud.

Ridiculous Etiquette and the Sexism Inherent

As a graduation requirement, it is mandated that all seniors take Participation in Government and Economics. Both of these classes are taught by a teacher who is neither wildly intelligent nor possessing of high self-esteem. The only reason she likes me at all is because of my nice handwriting. It's certainly not my cheerful demeanor, as I have yet to be excited to go to that class. (Actually, the beginning of the year was okay because we had class discussions, but now it's all notes and pointless worksheets). Anyway, today in class, we learned that a portion of the Economics class (which the teacher teaches, but we don't have until next semester) is spent taking "etiquette quizzes" which encompass various obscure, outdated social contrivances. The example that so pissed me off was a rule from the era of hoop skirts and corsets that mandated that whenever a lady stood at a table, all the men should stand as well.
1. In what universe does this make sense? It's a weird reaction, and uncomfortable for everyone.
2. Why do the women not stand as well? Why doesn't everyone stand when anyone stands? It's inconsistent, partial, and sexist.
3. WHY, in the name of all that is hellish, is the teacher teaching this as something that is appropriate to do? Ever? Even under the guise of "appropriate etiquette" at business meetings and such? Doing this would weird people out and would, in fact, be a detriment to any kind of relationship.
This is the 21st century, kids. Get with the program.

Anyway, a life update: I applied to Cornell! It took many tears and much despair, but my application is submitted. Finally. ...And now if I think about it and the mangled, BS essays I sent in with it, my stomach churns. I tried so hard to not sound contrived, but somehow I failed completely. ...Maybe I'll post them in a little bit, if I can get over how bad they sound. Or maybe not.

Procrastination

It happens to the best of us. My particular foible is funny webcomics, and I just stumbled across an adorable political commentary written by a Danish man. Funny but not conducive to productivity.

http://satwcomic.com/

Happy Rapture Day!

Hey, guess what? Harold Camping says the world is supposed to end! ...again!
Yup, so today was supposed to be the Rapture, just like May 21 and that date in the 1990's. Funnily, I haven't yet witnessed any true believers being lifted up to heaven sans their clothes (thank goodness. That would be traumatizing), nor has brimstone been rained upon me. And again, I've been denied the chance to have a several month long party with all of the rational people before the End of Days. *sigh* You think Mr. Camping would get the hint after the first time he cried wolf, but those fundamentalist types, well, they really like believing in things. Generally to the point of complete denial of reality.
Oh, well, maybe we can have an Apocalypse in 2012.
Then and again, as Lauren pointed out in AP Biology, maybe the Rapture has already happened, and we're in Hell and just didn't notice. It seemed awfully plausible at the time, as our singularly incompetent teacher decided to spend the whole hour and a half going over a fairly straightforward lab, which was probably as bad as being boiled in brimstone for eternity. ...It certainly felt like eternity.
Well, hey, there's still three hours left in the day. You know, I'm sure that's plenty of time for the Rapture to still happen. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here, Harold. Why don't you talk to God some more and see if you can get a better time estimate. I'll just wait right here and continue making my tailcoat. Tell me how that goes.

Tailcoats

So, I'm a senior. And because I'm a senior, that means I get to dress up for Halloween and parade around the school. It's awfully exciting, especially since I adore Halloween. In a vote, I would undoubtedly put it down for the best holiday. I mean, Christmas is happy and family-oriented and there are lots of presents (oh, come on. Who doesn't like presents? Except for those non-materialists. Pff! Un-American, I say), and Thanksgiving is full of yum, but Halloween. You get to dress up. For one night a year, you can pretend to be someone completely different. It's fun. I'd even argue that it's healthy, getting a chance to get out of your own skin.
Anyway, since the seniors like to do things in groups, we often have themes. And I, somehow, bizarrely, got roped into the Rocky Horror Picture Show group. ...Yes. You heard right. The one where everyone wears fishnets, and runs around being terribly promiscuous. And, somehow, I'm Columbia.
This is Columbia, for reference:

Yep. Not sure how that happened.
So, I went costume shopping today, since Halloween is in a mere two weeks, and there is a Halloween party in a mere one. I found fishnets and a gold top hat pretty easily, because apparently lots of people need top hats and fishnets, I don't know. But, for the life of me (and we scoured the store), I could not find a gold sparkly tail coat. And, clearly, that's rather imperative.
I was about to give in to despair, when I had a brilliant idea. (Okay, that was a bit of a dramatization).  I had found a gold, sparkly muumuu. And, lately, I've taken up many clothy crafts (most notably, making stuffed animals. I'm most proud of my purple pegasus that I gave to Ashley). So - why not make one myself?
I can hear you gasping in horror, and mouthing "noooo!" I'll keep you updated. ;)
(I'll probably end up making the bowtie, too...)

I'm too nice

For some reason I'm Facebook friends with people I don't actually like. I hear this is a common problem. I guess it happened around the beginning of the account creation, when I was afraid to deny friend requests out of fear of being rude. I've since learned, of course, that it's much simpler just to ignore them until they go away, and you've got to do that because otherwise you'd be friends with every Tom, Dick, and Harry and your newsfeed would be essentially atomized by all the Farmville updates.

Anyway, I still have some of these annoying people on there that I haven't gotten around to deleting yet (I'm waiting until I go off to college and won't see them on a regular basis), and they still, of course, put stupid stuff up that it kills me not to reply to with liberal doses of sarcasm. 

Except I'm nice. Or concerned about my reputation as a nice girl. One of those two, pick the one that seems less Machiavellian. Anyway, since I don't have the guts to be nasty on Facebook, here's the one comment today that irked me.

Some person wrote: "I live this life everyday I make my share of mistakes

and every lesson I learned i've learned the hard way."

Well, that's a very heuristic approach to life, but don't you think it would cause you less hardship and heartbreak to pay more attention to the lessons other people teach you? 

(And there's some lessons I really hope you haven't learned the hard way. Like, 'death is bad'. Or 'do not eat arsenic.')

There's your dose of snark for today. I'm sure there will be more to come.

Thoughts

Today I sat down on the porch and told myself that I wouldn't get up until I had written something fricking beautiful. The impetus was that I kept wasting obscene amounts of time on the internet instead of doing homework. This wasn't strictly homework, of course, but it was better than reading webcomics for hours on end. Certainly it was more conducive to mental function, at any rate.
Anyway, here's some of the fricking beautiful writing I came up with (Ha, ha, ha):


I wonder if we would all get along better if we all admitted that we have no idea what we're doing and stop being so presumptuous. But, no, we would still get jerks because they would have to be all like, "I don't know what I'm doing MORE than you." ...

The more I thought
The more it degraded
Aren't these metaphors, now
Just like the ones I so hated?

So much irony: misspelling misspell. And of course people do it all the time.

The setting sun was shining through the leaves like through a cathedral window, bathing everything in a fiery light.

There is a lot to be said about autumn, especially the deciduous kind. We write that it is the summer's final blaze of glory before death, a fire burning in the leaves, a melancholy time of inevitable defeat.  We like to make it a metaphor for our lives, or all our lives. It stirs an emotion in us. It reminds us of our own mortality.
What a shame for people in tropical climes. They have no seasonal mechanism to remind them of their own mortality. That must be why they're so fricking happy.

If I were a spider, I'd write words in my web like Charlotte, like, "Do not remove this web. Will result in prosecution." Or, "I don't bite." or "I don't weave in your house. Don't walk into my web." or "I surf the web."
If I were a spider, I would be very unhappy because I would be unable to proceed past the first level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I would be unable to achieve self-actualization. Also spiders don't live very long. And they eat bugs. And they can't go to college.


Then I wrote a short story about a character of mine who gives a demon teddy bear to an annoying child on the bus. She's not very nice, but neither was the kid. I have a long abiding hatred for children on buses.

How's that for some quality writing?!

Shall I Try Again?

Facebook, though certainly a curious and ingenious apparatus, does not provide the correct medium nor environment for me to discuss the things I am interested in. No one really wants to hear about philosophy or linguistics or whatever on such a youthful, social device. Even I have to admit that I dislike it whenever anyone posts those chain statuses that promote awareness for an issue (though part of that negative reaction may be in part caused by their accusatory nature - "if you don't post this, then you're cowardly/mean/apathetic"). Besides, I can hardly hold a proper discourse on such things in a small space. We're a sound byte culture, after all. And the status boxes have a character limit, it turns out.
So, here's the new layout. The picture in the background is Storm, by Edvard Munch, a Norwegian Expressionist whom I mistook for an Impressionist in last year's French class. I changed the name, as well, and the layout. Clearly I'm distancing myself from my ninth and tenth grade self, without going through the hassle of developing a whole new blog. Being terribly introspective and self-analytical, I can't stand my past self. Even if she did get me to where I am today.

So. The real reason I finally got around to dusting off the old blog and giving it a shiny new coat of paint was because of the topic currently on my mind. It's a short thing, because I just realized it's actually late, and I have to get up tomorrow. Alas. But, in brief, here's some of the things I couldn't say on Facebook recently:

I used to understand what the question of the meaning of life meant - or, I thought I did, because it was not something I closely examined. The more I think about it, the more unclear the phrasing seems. Is it asking, "Why are we here, what is the grand purpose of the universe, what divine scheme is there that we fit into?" Or is it asking, "What should we do while we're here?"  I feel like most people think it's the former, which is a shame because the answer is easy. (It's no, in case you were wondering. There is no plan.) It's the second question which actually raises some legitimate questions and answers and controversies.

I need to stop reading the news. Somewhere since I started to try to become less desensitized to horrors and suffering, I became a gigantic pansy who despairs every evening as I read about how horrible, ignorant, and resistant to understanding and goodness some people are. I don't understand how people live with themselves.

I need to go to sleep now, so I can get up in the morning, be miserable for a few hours, and then work on homework incessantly. Lovely, I'm so excited.