School has been interesting lately.

Alternate title: Everything that L says, ever.

Discussing the caning of Charles Sumner in Congress by Preston Brooks (1857):
Teacher: Imagine if our Congress was heated like that today!
Me: Well, a lot more people would watch C-span.

A: Can you have fish at college?
L: I think you can have any pet that you can hold underwater for 10 minutes and have it still be alive.

Teacher: I don't think the pass-fail line should be 65%. In the real world, 65% correctness doesn't cut it.
L: I only have 65% of my fingers!

In Biology, A was working with pliers and cut her hand and washed it out.
A: I haven't done that in weeks!
L: Done what, washed your hands?

Also in Biology:
L: Carnivorous plants mind their own business until something gets all up in their business and then they eat it.

G: World War I was caused by the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand.
A: Franz.
G: Okay, Archduke Franz Ferdinand.
Teacher: Like the band?