Sunday, September 2, 2012

College: Family Visits

I've been here a good full two weeks now, though it feels so much longer than it has been. Normally, I'm like, two weeks? Pff! That's nothing, but these two weeks have been so full of everything that they've felt freakishly long. More proof that time hates me.
At any rate, my family visited this Saturday, which was beautiful. It was really great to see them all again. We went to Target to get some things I needed, like sneakers for my new running / frisbee playing habit. (I know, my sudden athleticism is weird, but exercise really does make me happy). Then we drove down the Commons and walked up a gorge and through some streets. We went to dinner at a place called Lot 10, which is where the Wildfire Cafe used to be, which was where the Lost Dog Cafe used to be. (The Lost Dog Cafe was better). Dinner was great, and having the parents near and with in communication distance is great, because I solve my problems myself, but they're always there for me to talk to and just have a reality check. I also forgot, just amidst everything, that one of the reasons I chose to go to this college is because it's within pretty easy visiting distance. It's only 45 minutes away from home, and I'd sort of forgotten that that was why I came here. So I can visit, and people can visit me. This is what I wanted, and as long as I'm doing what I can to do well in school and get involved with communities here, there is no reason I should be cut off from my family and friends! It's simply nonsensical.
After dinner we walked around the Commons some more, and then went back to the townhouse to unload our purchases and my stuff that they've brought from home, and then we had to say goodbye, and there was some sadness and crying.
I was upset that I was upset, too, because I've been feeling pretty decent this past week, but I want to be able to see my parents and family and not feel super sad. I don't want my contentedness to be contingent on my isolation from my "former" life. I want to be able to think about memories and good times, and not be filled with sadness. But I realized that I really enjoyed myself while we were together, it's just that goodbyes are always hard. And that was really the problem. I'm living pretty well on my own, but it has only been two weeks, and goodbyes are always hard.
Fortunately, they do live close, and we've more or less set a date for another two weeks from now, which seems reasonable. And, hypothetically, though this almost certainly won't happen, they could come up next weekend, if I really needed them to. This won't happen, but it's nice to know that they're there, and I'm not being a huge burden on them.
So, two weeks! I've done it once, I can do it again. And two weeks seems reasonable. Every week might be excessive, but two weeks is perfectly fine. And it won't always have to be right on the nose, and it can be spread out a little more in the future, or it can stay the same. But this is reasonable, and it's going to be fine.

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