Conversations

[via text]

Me: Do you think fishnets with shorts would break the dress code?
A: Umm how many dollar bills* between the hem and knee? That'd be the only problem I think.
Me: 1.2 dollar bills. I wonder if the fishnets make it less, er, violationy.
A: Probably not. But I think you'd be fine.
Me: Oh, good. Because I like fishnets.
A: You're fantastic.
Me: No, your face is fantastic.
A: :-P Well I want to eat your face.
Me: Friendship may be two pals munching on a well-cooked face together, but it says in the fine print that it has to be the face of a third party.
A: Fine. We can eat Grace's face then.
Me: Yay! Graceface is my favorite!
A: Me too! This will be a good meal then. We'll make a toast to friendship.
Me: To the power of friendship! *clink*
A: *clink*

*Our dress code consists of a handy rule of thumb - shorts and skirts must be no shorter than the length of the a dollar bill above the knee, and straps must be at least the width of a dollar bill.

Conversations with Librarians

Septagenarian Librarian [to me]: I just had to say, have you ever thought of going into fashion design? Because I love your whole style and look. You should be a model.

Me: Oh, thank you! You know, I am attempting to make clothing...

SL: Huh!

Me: It's...interesting...so far, but I'm working on a dress.

SL: Well, that's neat! What grade are you in?

Me: I'm a senior.

SL: So, will you be going to college for clothing design?

Me: No, neurobiology, actually.

SL: Huh. 

This may be the best thing about being a dilettante. People find it terribly confusing.