Bible Study: Bacon

So, lately I've been reading the Bible. I won't bore you with the details of why precisely I'm reading the Bible, but let it suffice to say it's not because I think it's fascinating literature. Well, it's certainly fascinating, sort of in the same way that Twilight is fascinating, or a horrible train wreck is fascinating, but what I'm saying is, the "Good Book" is possibly the worst misnomer since the history of nomenclature.

Anyway, I've bludgeoned my way through Genesis and Exodus, and now I'm partway through Leviticus, which is a book that mostly contains chapters and chapters of outdated laws that repeat themselves a lot. For instance, I discovered that Yahweh really hates yeast. And animals. And people. But mostly yeast. I've also learned that in ancient Mesopotamia, you can get excommunicated from the Israelite community for touching a dead animal, which makes me wonder how they sacrificed all the animals they spent 6 chapters detailing precisely how to kill in order to make Yahweh happy.
I could really go on all day about all the things I've found in Leviticus, but the reason I'm writing this today is that I have specifically one very exciting thing I wanted to share with you. One very special law that was repeated 3 times as of chapter 7, is that you are not allowed to eat the fat of an animal. If you do, you will be excommunicated from the community. (You can get excommunicated for a lot of things, by the way). This means, as I immediately realized, that eating bacon is akin to blasphemy.

Catch that? Bacon is blasphemy. BACON IS BLASPHEMY. Every time you eat bacon, YOU ARE COMMITTING A DEADLY SIN.
So, basically...bacon's better than ever now, am I right?

Mmm... Tasty, atheroschlerosis-causing blasphemy.

I was told the stars were only buttons.

I wrote this little snippet last year around this time, and for some reason I find it very pretty despite its archaic mythology and out-of-contextual state. I'll use it in a story at some point, I'm sure, but at the moment, it's just a pretty little thing I have lying around.
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  “When I was younger, my father used to tell me that stars were the eyes of the ones we loved, looking down on us from heaven,” she said, resting her forearms on her knees and leaning forward. Her yellow hair twined about her face in a lovely fashion, reflecting moonlight.

“I was told the stars were only buttons,” the pale girl said. Head tilted upwards, she watched the stars with a certain curious intensity.

“Those must be some very shiny buttons, then.”

“Well, they're God's. They have got to be shiny,” she said solemnly.

“Of course,” Devon said, playing along. “God wouldn't walk around with dull buttons. Very ungodlike. No one would take him seriously.”

The pale girl turned to look at her suspiciously. Devon's face was the picture of innocence as she looked up at the stars.

“Funny things they tell us when we are children,” the girl said.

Live Blogging Bones Episode "Prisoner in the Pipes"

This post will probably be interesting to no one but me, unless you watch the crime drama Bones. This is about an episode that came out four months ago, and was also written four months ago...But I have nothing else to post right now, so here you go.
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Guys. I am in distress. Bones, which used to be a favorite show of mine, is becoming crummy in its later seasons. I know, this is the usual trend, but this is awful. Just awful.

Daisy isn't respecting Sweet's boundaries both professionally and in their relationship. (I have never really like Daisy, though, so it isn't so distressing that she's being an idiot).

Booth asks Brennan (Bones) to compromise about having her baby in a hospital. Brennan makes the perfectly rational decision to have a home birth, as she is a low-risk pregnancy and the environment is more sterile. However, because Booth refuses to concede on his desire for a hospital birth, she decides to compromise on something that I think is intellectually troubling and ethically questionable. Instead of agreeing to have the baby in a hospital, like Booth wants, Bones instead compromises on something else. She agrees to have their daughter baptized. Bones is an atheist, by the way, and Booth is Catholic. While I could see conceding to do this in the name of familial harmony, Bones proceeds to explain that "mythology is an excellent way to make sense of the world."
AGHHHH. While I am pleased that she acknowledged that his faith is mythology, look at what she's saying. Mythology is not an excellent way to make sense of the world. It is inherently false and oftentimes screwed up. Rationalism is a perfectly functional and, well, reasonable way to make sense of the world. Accepting the world as it is instead of convincing yourself that it is things that it is not, is an excellent way to make sense of the world. Instead of denying reality, rationalism states that one should embrace it and not comfort oneself with falsehoods.
Furthermore, I am trying to interpret - Is Bones saying she's going to let her daughter grow up Catholic? Bones should know better than most people, as an anthropologist, that when one is indoctrinated into belief systems in impressionable childhood years, one generally retains those belief systems for one's entire life. Surely Bones, as an atheist, values reality? So why is she willing to let her daughter grow up in an oppressively patriarchal belief system that is based on an inherently false premise? Furthermore, even if the child does escape her societal brainwashing, there is a distinct possibility for emotional trauma, clashes with her father, or at the very least a period of existential angst (which isn't much fun, really). Bones is an intelligent woman, and though she may be removed from the workings of human minds, she can surely figure out the above?

Booth is overprotective and it is irritating. Bones is an extremely independent woman, and he's ruining this. He's making any excuse to protect her from going out into the field. Cut it out. Cut it out right now. How many times does Bones have to prove that she's extremely capable before you stop shielding her?

What? The victim was dissolved in acetic acid? ...That's vinegar. Wait, googling. ...Okay, so vinegar is dilute acetic acid. And apparently concentrated acetic acid is corrosive...Really, though, how long is it going to take to dissolve someone in an acid with a pH of ~5? The stomach is around pH 2, and even a vat of hydrochloric acid is going to take a few hours at least to get someone down to a size necessary to shove down a drain. In a prison, where is someone going to find the time to dissolve someone in this manner? I feel that someone will notice this guy dissolving in a vat in the kitchen. This seems highly improbable.

Good job, Bones. You managed to start a full-on prison riot. Nice going.

What. I hate everything. I - This is the worst thing. Ever. I hate everything.
Bones is having her baby in a barn. After being turned away from the inn. Because there wasn't enough room. AH. What the hell is with the blatant Jesus symbolism?! And the only other person present is her boyfriend, who is not medically trained. Neither of them are medically trained. And Bones' big concern was that having a baby in the hospital was not sanitary. A BARN IS NOT BETTER THAN A HOSPITAL. THERE WAS A HOSPITAL 10! MINUTES! DOWN! THE! ROAD! AHGH! This is the stupidest metaphor ever. And believe me, Bones is not a virgin. Are they trying to make her into some kind of Mary figure? This. is. idiotic.
O HOLY CATS THEY NAMED HER DAUGHTER CHRISTINE. CHRISTINE. CAN YOU GET ANY MORE BLOODY BLATANT!? CAN YOU GET MORE BLATANT OR OBVIOUS?! WHY NOT JUST NAME HER JESUSINA FOR HELL'S SAKE AND GET IT OVER WITH!

"Why can't you just admit there's a mystery to life, Bones?" Shut up, Booth. Why can't you just admit that life can be explained by physical and chemical processes, Booth? Do you need to take an introductory level biology course or something? For hell's sake! You're foisting all this theology on Bones. It makes me think the writers never intended for Bones to be a rational character at all,  but merely a Straw Vulcan. "Oh, the lonely, hyperrationalist atheist meets a religious man and realizes that magic and God and voodoo are all real and special and a vital part of a happy life and/or a healthy diet. Because obviously it's impossible to be a good, happy person without an imaginary best friend or invisible sky fairy that watches everything you do."
What. The. Hell.

I stuck 100 sewing pins into a stuffed turtle.

Why? Because it's awesome. I need another reason?

Cake

This is the graduation cake I got from 83 and Company. It is the most beautiful thing. It was red velvet, with buttercream frosting, and red fondant on top. On the top there was a white lace-arabesque pattern, and fresh raspberries with chocolate drizzled over them.
AH. LOVE.

CAKE. Not always a lie.