My Biology Story

This is for you, Dad.

For Biology, my teacher had us write an educational children's book on ecology, as mentioned before. Because of the OVERWHELMING requests of my THOUSANDS of readers to hear this story, here it is.

Ellie Finds Her Place in the Ecosystem

Ellie was a little girl who wondered what her place in the ecosystem was. One day, she decided to go walking in the woods to figure it out. As Ellie was walking, she came upon a patch of flowers.

“Hello, flowers!” she said. “How are you doing on this lovely morning?”

The flowers did not respond, due to their conspicuous lack of larynxes, but she imagined that they replied with a jaunty “how d'you do? I'm fine too!” and a wave of their pretty little petals.

“What's your place in the ecosystem, flowers?” Ellie asked them. Again, they didn't not respond, but she imagined voices for them.

“Why, Ellie,” they replied, “our place in the ecosystem is as producers.”

“What are producers?” she asked.

“Producers are organisms that make their own food from light energy and natural resources, silly,” the flowers replied. “Everybody knows that.”

“And flowers,” Ellie asked, “What's my place in the ecosystem?”

“We don't know, Ellie,” they answered.

Ellie kept walking.

Ellie came up to a pond.

“Hello, leeches!” she said. “How do you do today?”

“Lovely, Ellie!” they chirruped.

“What's your place in the ecosystem, leeches?” Ellie asked.

“Our place in the ecosystem is as parasites, Ellie,” the leeches responded in their high, squeaky voices.

“What's a parasite?” Ellie asked.

“A parasite is an organism that survives by living and feeding on other organisms,” the leeches replied.

“That doesn't sound very nice!” Ellie said.

The leeches thought about this, and then answered, “Hey, don't begrudge us. It's our ecological niche!”

“What does that mean?” Ellie asked, eyes practically bugging out of her head.

“An ecological niche is the specific role played by an organism or population of organisms,” the leeches dutifully defined.

Ellie pondered this, and then asked excitedly, “What's a population?”

The leeches exchanged glances.

“Yes, Ellie, we could play this game all day long, too,” they said. “But hadn't you better get to the point and get on your way?”

“Okey-doke,” Ellie responded. “What's my place in the ecosystem, leeches?”

“We don't know, Ellie,” they responded, and then attached themselves to her lower leg.

Ellie kept walking.

Ellie came up to rabbits half in and half out of their holes.

“Hello, rabbits!” she said. “What's your place in the ecosystem?”

“Hello, Ellie,” the rabbits said. “Our role in the ecosystem is as a population!”

“What's a population?” Ellie asked.

“A population?” the rabbits queried. “A population is all of the individuals of a single species that survive in an area.”

“What's an 'area'?” Ellie asked, staring vacantly and drooling.

There was an awkward silence.

“What's my place in the ecosystem?” Ellie asked.

“We don't know,” the rabbits chorused.

Ellie kept walking.

Ellie came up to a rock.

“Hello, rock!” Ellie said. “How are you doing today?”

“Just fine, Ellie,” the rock said, miraculously acquiring a voice.

“What's your place in the ecosystem, rock?” Ellie asked.

“My place in the ecosystem as an abiotic factor is as a habitat to small decomposers,” the rock replied.

“What does 'abiotic' and 'habitat' mean?” Ellie asked.

“'Abiotic' things are the non-living parts of an environment,” the rock said. “A habitat is a home.”

“What's my place in the ecosystem, rock?” Ellie asked.

“I don't know, Ellie,” the rock replied.

Ellie then lifted up the rock to talk to the decomposers.

“Hello, decomposers. What does your name mean? I know Beethoven was a famous composer!”

“A decomposer is an organism, generally a bacterium or fungus,” the tiny creatures yelled collectively, their calls a little less than a whisper, “that consumes dead organisms or organic waste.”

“Neat-o!” Ellie said.

“What's my place in the ecosystem, decomposers?” Ellie asked them.

“We don't know, Ellie,” they responded.

Ellie dropped the rock back onto them. Their screams (“I'm being crushed! I'm being crushed!) were muffled by the stone.

Ellie kept walking.

Ellie then came upon a mountain lion, laying peacefully on an abiotic piece of ground.

“Hello, mountain lion!” Ellie greeted him cheerfully. “How do you do?”

“Lovely, Ellie,” the mountain lion replied.

“What's your place in the ecosystem?” Ellie asked with a smile.

“My place in the ecosystem is as a carnivore,” the mountain lion said.

“What does that mean?” Ellie asked.

“A carnivore is an organism that feeds on other animals for food,” the mountain lion replied. “I am proud of being a carnivore.”

“That's cool,” Ellie replied. “But what's my place in the ecosystem?”

“I know, Ellie,” the mountain lion responded.

“You do?” Ellie exclaimed excitedly. “Great! No one else knew! What is it? What is it?”

The mountain lion leaned in very close.

“Ellie, your place in the ecosystem is being the prey in the food chain!” he said happily.

“What's THAT mean?” Ellie asked excitedly.

The mountain lion said: “A food chain is a representation that identifies the specific feeding relationships among organisms. And prey is what is caught and eaten by the predators, who are carnivores.”

“What's a predator?” Ellie asked, shortly before she was consumed. But don't worry: it's a happy ending, because Ellie found her place in the ecosystem at long last.

THE END